Therapy for Women
It is time for you to put yourself first
I have worked with so many caregivers. They are the mothers, the spouses, the adult children that are burned out. They are labeled as emotional, nagging, and clingly. The husbands would frequently tell me they were tired of their wives. If I focus on the caregiver’s perspective right now, those sessions leave a bad taste in my mouth. It is hard to swallow sessions like that. Whether you can relate to these caregivers that are labeled or not, the fact of the matter is that therapy and self-care needs to be more realistic and accessible to women and caregivers everywhere.
Caregivers hold our world together. They listen to us, nurture us, and empower us. They are the reason we are here. Rather than focusing on their beauty and what they give to the world, self-care should focus on what they can give to themselves and what turns them on.
Therapy is self-care and, oftentimes, is the first step to caregivers putting themselves first and truly loving who they are.
Why therapy for women?
If you’re like many of the caregivers and empty-nesters I see, the reason you’re seeking therapy is you’re ready to have a life outside of taking care of those around you. You are ready to sweep out some of the grief, the load you’ve had to carry, and the cobwebs in your inner world. You’re ready to find you! And most importantly, you’re ready to date yourself. You may be similar to many of my clients — you became a caregiver before you even knew who you were!
Let’s not forget to mention that it can feel like you aren’t the one that needs therapy! But when other people are unwilling to go, you need a place to do that one thing for yourself and try for you.
Even if you have no idea where to start, you know you want to make a change now. This is where therapy can help.
What does therapy for perimenopause look like?
This is a bit unheard of so I wanted to add a section for you to learn what psychotherapy can offer you during perimenopause. If you’re like my clients, you likely went to the doctor when you first felt hot flashes or when you first felt so angry you yelled at your adult child and were worried you ruined the relationship. My clients feel desperate! They are caught by surprise and are convinced that perimenopause will ruin their marriages, relationships with children, jobs, and their body! Perimenopause is intense. If you’re like my clients, you walked into the doctor’s office, paid the $100 copay, and explained these strange things happening to you. The doctor nodded their head then sighed and pulled out a pamphlet. “Here’s a pamphlet. Good luck.” $100 down the drain. After this appointment, my clients usually feel hopeless. Now they know they are alone and must figure this out if they want to keep the schedule and relationships they have worked hard to build.
Psychotherapy isn’t magic but…it kind of is. Therapy offers insight which is this magical thing that provides us with updated information about who we are, what we need, and what gives us joy. When we apply insight to our lives, we begin to feel more authentic, safer in our skin, and whole.
Therapy also offers healing. My work with IFS is powerful. When we unburden the parts of us that hold onto trauma and grief, we become more healthy and prevent problems. IFS research shows that unburdening wounded parts of us can reduce pain and heal diseases. I have watched clients go from twenty panic attacks a week to none. I have also watched heart rates go down and hobbies go up. This is because our mind and body are connected. The body holds onto our trauma and that trauma burrows itself into our bones and muscles, causing a lot of tension! We can unburden this pain.
Therapy can also offer clients guidance. Women deserve to have a path during perimenopause but, currently, we are making women go off-road. I will support you and offer resources as you discover the things that help you feel better in your body, process changes happening to you and your life, and find the You you have always known was inside. As a family therapist, I have worked with families on how to support women in perimenopause. I have also worked with many couples on how husbands can be an ally during perimenopause.
And most important, therapy is a space for clients to verbally process what they are going through and be witnessed. Perimenopause adds an important chapter to a human’s life. Stories must be shared. Grief must be witnessed.
Therapy for women can help
Here is what you can expect in sessions: after the initial session (called the intake session where we discuss the presenting problem), we will do a genogram. A genogram is a fancy family map of the three generations you belong to. This gives me a bird-eye view of the traumas, narratives, and patterns that may play a part in who you are. This is usually everyone’s favorite session as it provides insight and answers a lot of questions clients have always thought about.
After this session, it’s all about accessing who you are! We will go to those traumas and narratives to heal your parts and help you lead yourself rather than being led by past pain. These sessions feel empowering and set you up for lasting fulfillment with yourself.
Therapy will help with your relationships, your work, your friends, and the list goes on! But my main priority is that therapy will be for you. That you will come to see how much you have always mattered, that hobbies will light you up again, and that you are the one you have always been waiting for!
If this sounds like something that could be a good fit for you, let’s get started. Request a consultation today.
