Dating yourself: 5 tips for women from a grief therapist
It is so common in the therapy room to hear that an empty-nester has never gotten to know themselves. I will frequently hear that they got married or became a caregiver at a young age and never had time, sanity, or space to find out what turned them on. I like to call it “dating yourself”. When I use this phrase, I get surprised looks and compliments like, “Wow, I love how you worded that.” It’s evidence that dating ourselves before we date other people is not commonly taught to young people or children. Why not start now?
Here are 5 tips to start dating yourself now:
Study a new culture
New cultures are great ways to gain new insight into the many different ways humans can express themselves, connect to people and things, and thrive! Some of my favorite cultures to study are indigenous tribes in North America, eastern Asia, and Scandinavia.
Try a new food
Whether you are going to a new restaurant or making a new food at home, new food is a fun and easy way to see what speaks to your body. Many times, diets are over-generalized. But you are an individual and your body is unique. Try something new and see how your body responds to it!
Get out in nature
Nature calls us to connect. We cannot be in nature without connecting to sounds, systems, and Nature’s magic. Even if you are not ready to move rigorously, Nature is a natural way to create movement. Our emotions need movement to unclog.
Do something that has always spoken to you
Playfulness is a sign you are Self-led. Playfulness is having joy as we explore ourselves. Rather than critiquing ourselves, we are in the moment, full of curiosity. Body language was our first language as newborns. But before we spoke our native language, play was our second language. In play, children learn boundaries, their bodies, and what they enjoy. It is in play that we explore who we are. When I play, I particularly enjoy karaoke, decorating, spray paint art, bird-watching, and hip-hop dance.
Start therapy!
Marriage and family therapists (MFTs) are trained to see the bigger picture. Therapy is the place for you to pinpoint what is holding you back and offer clarity on how you can become a more fulfilled, authentic person.
Services Offered with Katherine Linscott, LMFT
Are you a mother heading toward an empty nest? Are you already in an empty nest and figuring out new dynamics with your adult children? Therapy with Katherine Linscott, LMFT can help you work toward finding your identity and purpose outside of caregiving. I provide Grief Therapy for those experiencing perimenopause, distance from partner or children, and loss of Self. I also provide Therapy for Women for women 45+ who struggle with purpose, burnout, perimenopause, and stress of feeling unappreciated. For more about me, check out my About Page, Blog, or Homepage.